Dear Family & Friends, As many of you know, I've been out here in Illinois, getting radiation treatments for the past 3 weeks. I've heard from many of you, either through text messages or personal messages on Facebook. I apologize that I haven't been able to respond to all, I've just been too sick. Yet, because you are all so dear, of course you would like to know how things are going. At this moment, I'm feeling a bit of a reprieve so I will try to give you a quick update before that nauseating feeling returns.

First of all, September 28th was the one year mark of me being diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. Consequently, I've been a little reminicent over the last few days as I've pondered what this last year has brought and the many lessons I've learned.

Things continue to get more and more difficult. I've had 14 of 30 radiation treatments so far. I spent the weekend in bed feeling non stop nauseated. I would welcome the ability to be able to throw up if I could only feel better. I have 3 different drugs that I am staggering in use and even then, the feeling never seems to fully go away. My Doctor told me last week that they're hitting a large radius around my pancreas to make sure that they get everything and because it's right there next to my stomach it's causing me to be really nauseated. They will do 24 treatments like that and the last 6 they will pinpoint all of the radiation on the tumor that's on my pancreas. They will not do scans at the end of the 6 weeks. My Doctor tells me that the radiation continues to work for 6 weeks after the treatments end, so at that point I will go home for 6 weeks and then come back and do scans to see what has been accomplished.

Matt had to go home last Friday to pay bills and take care of things so he flew Ashley and Ella out here to take care of me while he's gone. What a wonderful husband! I seriously don't know what I would have done without her. She has been such a blessing!! Matt comes back here tomorrow (Tuesday) night. I will ask him to give me another blessing when he returns. The critical thing they have stressed about my treatment is to NOT lose any weight. Easier said than done when you're struggling to eat. They have done a mold on me that I lay in and have calculations for my precise treatment. They've put tattoo marks on my stomach and sides where the lasers all line up when I get on the table for treatment. Well, today, I went for treatment and they told me that I had lost weight and that things were not lining up exactly. My Doctor told my nurses to go ahead and do the treatment on me today and that tomorrow we're probably going to have to re-simulate everything for the last half of my treatments. I felt bad about this at first but then my nurses said that it wasn't my fault and that this often happens with patients that are getting radiation in the abdominal area. You get so sick that you can't help but lose weight. Right now I'm scheduled to come home October 23rd. If they have to re-simulate everything and do all new calculations, it will be longer. As hard as it is, I'm grateful they are being precise.

I want to thank all of you for your continued faith and prayers on my behalf. Thank you to those of you who continue to fast for me. I have made this trip to Chicago 19 times this year since January. I surely couldn't have gotten this far in my treatment without your spiritual and monetary help. Mere words are not enough to express how I feel for each and every one of you. My heart runneth over in gratitude to my Heavenly Father for His love and to my Savior for His peace. I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade this experience for anything! I only hope I am becoming a better person because of it. I love you all and thank you again for all that you've done for me. Julie